A
meaningful way to think about your own behavior when confronted with conflict
situations is to present
information
that describes human conflict styles in relation to various animals. The
following content is
summarized
from material presented in Johnson, David W. (1993). Reaching Out: Interpersonal
Effectiveness and Self
Actuahzation,
Fifth edition, Allyn and Bacon pg. 217-219). Johnson describes five
interpersonal
conflict strategies by relating them to specific animals who vary in how hard
they work to
achieve
their own goals, and how hard they work to preserve a relationship.
a.
The Turtle (Withdrawing) Turtles withdraw into their shells to avoid conflicts.
They give up both their
personal
goals and relationships. They stay away from the issues over which conflict is
taking place and
from
the people they are in conflict with. Turtles believe that it is hopeless to
try to resolve conflicts. They
feel
helpless. They believe it is easier to withdraw physically and psychologically)
from a conflict than to
face
it.
b.
The Shark (forcing) Sharks try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept
their solution to the
conflict.
Their goals are highly important to them, and the relationship is of minor
importance. They seek to
achieve
their own goals at all costs. They do not care if other people like them and
assume in conflict
that
there is always one winner and one loser, and they want to be the winner. They
try to win by attacking,
overpowering,
overwhelming, and intimidating other people.
c.
The Teddy Bear (Smoothing) To Teddy Bears, the relationship is of great
importance, while their own
goals
are of little importance. Teddy Bears want to be accepted and liked by other
people. They think that
conflict
should be avoided in favor of harmony and believe that conflicts cannot be
discussed without
damaging
relationships. They are afraid that if conflict continues, someone would get
hurt, and that would
ruin
the relationship. They give up their goals to preserve the relationship.
d.
The Fox (Compromising) Foxes are moderately concerned with their goals and
their relationships with
other
people. Foxes seek a compromise. They give up part of their goals and persuade
the other person in
a
conflict to give up on part of their goals. They seek a solution to conflict on
middle ground.
e.
The Owl (Confronting) Owls highly value their own goals and relationships. They
view conflicts as
problems
to be solved and seek a solution that achieves both their own goals and the
goals of the other
person
in the conflict. Owls see conflicts as improving relationships by reducing
tension between two
people.
They aim for a "win-win" situation where the goals of both parties
are achieved and the quality of
the
relationship is restored.
According
to this typology, although people may vary their approach in some situations,
they do internalize
a
basic strategy that will guide them during times of conflict.